We went to dinner at Figo (soooo yummy, but I couldn't really taste it tonight) to celebrate the birthday of our friend Ken (Happy Birthday, Ken!). Unfortunately, I had some wretched woman yell at me. Well, not yell, exactly, but...
*doo-doo-doo! doo-doo-doo! doo-doo-doo!*
(insert flashback scene here)
We arrived a few minutes after the other folks, so there was a party of 4 or 5 people in between us and the rest of our group. Figo wanted us to all be on the same order, though, since we were sitting together, so our friend gestured us forward. The hostess/cashier smiled at the lady in line and then turned to us; I said, "Sorry, they want us all on the same ticket" to the lady in line and then ordered. I stepped aside to let Kennan order, and THEN---
one of the women walked up to me and said, in a very guilt-inducing, know-it-all, Umbridge-ish voice, "I just wanted to let you know that I know what you did and I think it's very rude and I hope you're happy with yourself. Hmph!" I was a little shocked, but I said, "Oh no, I'm sorry; they wanted us all together." To which she replied, sarcastically, "Oh, I'm sure they did!"
That doesn't really do it justice; she was unbelievably rude, and at that point my head started to boil. I had to walk away before I punched her. She was such a snot that even Kennan got mad, which is a really rare event. And of course they were seated at the table next to ours... I sat strategically, with my back to them, so my head wouldn't explode!
The good news is, I didn't get in a fist fight and get kicked out in Bluth family style... the bad news is, I'm still mad, and now have a headache. All the times I've been "wronged" (or thought I had been) in public, I'll admit I've had some rude daydreams about all the things I wanted to say or do, but... even I (and I'm a mess) have never done anything like that! To actually walk up to a stranger and say that! I think they were from the north. Yankees.
Yes, lots has happened since I last posted... Urbana was great, Kennan passed the first 2 of his PhD qualifying exams and is now studying for the 3rd, Christy & Gordon got engaged and we set up an office for me in a corner of the dining room... but the HOOCH-LADY AT FIGO is unfortunately all that I can think about right now. Hopefully, this post will prove cathartic and I can get over it. I ask you, though, would any of YOU ever say that to someone? Patricia, I don't think even you would.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I haven't been that mad since "Sharon's Picks!"
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4 comments:
A Yankee? Pu-lease. A Yankee would never say something like that. Would a Yankee really want you to "be happy with yourself?" Futhermore, I remain highly skeptical about a Yankee puntcuating her frustration with the use of the word "Hmph!" Yes, it has four letters, but it's not the words that I usually hear around here, in Yankee territory. You better trust me. I can see Yankee Stadium from my window. Which window? Why, that would be the window in my conveniently sized bedroom/office/kitchen/bathroom/dining room.
Despite this oversight, I am impressed by your use of "Umbridge" as an adjective. Carry on.
Becky lou, I get to see you soon!
Wahoo!
Oh, and **** you.
Is that more of the four-letter word type that you were thinking of?
Hee hee hee!
I miss my favorite country-music-listenin', soul-talkin', Georgia-cheerin' (UGH-A is right!), southern-belle of a yankee!
No, I don't think I would have said something like that. It is kind of a lame comment really. Besides you explained. Now, if you hadn't explained and were talking to your friends in Spanish about how you are grateful not to stand in line, I would have said loud enough for you to hear something to my Hispanic peeps on the phone if I had none with me something about people and lines and rules and how this gives Hispanics a bad name. But there is a precedent of a mostly truthful stereotype about Hispanics and skipping lines that just irritates me A LOT (can you tell?). But her comment is terribly lame and out of place being that you apologized. I think something like "Hey maybe I can be part of your group too" would have worked better, you couldn't be mad at her and in the event that you found it funny enough to help her out, she would have eaten early even.
Oh well. In other news, Sharon apparently knows of a Community Group at her McChurch in Smyrna that meets Thursday Nights. Did you know about this? I find it hillarious!
All Hail the omnipotent Sharon.
Har har har har har.
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