To My Fellow Americans (Part 1)

Dear Friends, Americans, and Countrymen,

     I know I'm late to the game regarding the entire Coke "America the Beautiful" scandal, but that whole thing has been percolating in my thoughts for the past week, along with some other timely tweets, posts and happenings.  It's been a lot to think about.  And I tend to think a lot. (NOTE: this is an old post from early 2014.  I'm finally finishing it now.)

     Though I often don't think enough before I speak/type, with an issue as sensitive as race/ethnicity/identity, I'm actually measuring my words carefully on this one.  I had a number of reactions to the Coke ad drama, in quick succession: anger, confusion, exasperation, guilt, shame, sadness, judgement.  With a side of craving sugary Coke thrown in, for good measure.

     So I guess what I want to tell you, my fellow Americans (and please pardon me in my delusions of Presidential grandeur), is this: when you judge someone, you may be (unwittingly) judging me.

     I know it's easy to judge someone, especially a stereotype of someone.  I judge the Yankee, the Republican, the mega-church attender, the vegan, the home-schooler, the Georgia fan, the other.  All the things that (I like to think) I am not.  I see someone who displays traits that I don't like or I don't understand, and I make assumptions.  I assume my preference is normatively right.  I assume I am not like him or her.  I assume that I am seeing that person for who they truly are, and thus I am allowed to judge.  I assume we have nothing in common.

     And that is such a lie.

     Because I hope you notice that list above is a peculiar one.  It is not people who are all alike, who fit the same stereotype.  As a loyal Georgia Tech fan, I don't like Georgia fans (or at least the part of Southern culture they seem to represent), but I don't like Yankees, either.  I am certainly not a vegan, but I do enjoy more than just meat and potatoes.  I support public schools, but I have many good friends who home-school, and I recognize that I have the privilege of being in an excellent public school system.  Etcetera, etcetera.

     I like to think I'm the middle ground, the sensible one, the one with all the answers.  And that is also a lie.  Yet it is true that no person, no personality, is really just one thing.  We are not monolithic creatures (though we may present ourselves as such).  Even when we align ourselves to a certain religion, political party, or any number of shared interests, we are walking contradictions.  Even those who portray themselves as one distinct thing are so much more.  Many people self-identify with one main ideology, religion, or interest.  Yet if you find yourself agreeing with absolutely everything that everyone around you says, every time, it might be time to wonder if you're in a cult.  Or at least need to branch out a little.  There are many good Southern folks who embrace different cultures, who support immigrants, who chose to surround themselves with diversity.  There are many folks from the North who don't have a diversity of friendships and who aren't hospitable.  And the majority of folks from all over the country fall somewhere along a spectrum, in every category imaginable.

     So when you rail against Liberals, or immigrants, you in part are railing against me.
So also when you judge those with "traditional values," or Southerners in general, you are judging me.  Some might say that makes me confused, or inconsistent, or just plain weird.  But I think that's the point I'm trying to make.  When we examine ourselves, truly and honestly, we find things that don't make sense.  We find things in ourselves that don't toe the party line.  We find ways that we are different, even from our own norms.  And if you really really can't get past some of my beliefs or habits that seem incompatible to you, let's talk.  Because the whole point of this is to understand one another better, not to further entrench our own stereotypes.  Because I need to push myself, too.  I need to grow in my understanding of other people, not group them into "folks that I agree with" and "folks that I don't."

     I know not many Americans will actually read this.  But I hope that of the tiny percentage that do, you will be encouraged in two ways:

1. Try to see past the immediate issue/stereotype/image at hand.  Dig deeper into someone.  Find something that you actually agree with that person on, and strive to see others as less "other."  Push yourself to see someone in a different light than what has been presented, and assume that there is more to their story.

2. Don't be afraid to show more sides of who you are.  Redefine stereotypes by being more than one interest, political stance, or idea.  Look at the conflicting sides of who you are and figure out how that makes you uniquely you.

     Yes, we are a land of immigrants and natives, a land of whites and blacks (and every color in-between), a land of little and of plenty.  We truly are America the Beautiful, not despite our differences, but because of them.  Even those who hated that commercial have more to their story than merely one opinion, and I am trying to remember that truth.  When we let things polarize us, the chance for real community only decreases.  When we force ourselves to know, understand, and even love those who seem so very different from ourselves, we find out how very much we all have in common.

     I'm not saying let's sing Kumbaya and all just get along.  I'm saying, let's not assume the worst of each other, not settle for thinking that because we disagree on one distinct issue that means we can write each other off and move on.  My good friend Anthony told me that "the one you think is weird was made by the same, supreme One who made you.  Can't say you have nothing in common."  Oh, the grace we can extend to each other if we'll remember that truth.

From Sea to Shining Sea,
A Fellow Citizen