Just As I Am?

Due to recent struggles, I'm forced to re-evaluate one of the many audacious claims of Christ: that his sacrifice has made me alive even though I was dead in my transgressions... that God has raised me up with Christ and seated me with him in the heavenly realms (Eph. 2:4-6).... that God loves and accepts me right where I am, every second of the day.

What a ridiculous thought! I'm such a mess and drowning in my sin: past, present & future. Forgiven? How could God possibly forgive me?

But then I read that God's grace is sufficient... and I am humbled, weak and grateful. Realizing the ugliness of this lie that I seem to cling to: that Jesus' sacrifice was not enough to cover my sins.

And yet God is merciful. He speaks love and wisdom through my Bible (that dusty little book that I leave on the shelf all too often). And as if that weren't enough (though it is!), he has graced some musicians to paraphrase the message of his love in blinding clarity:

"What's that on the ground?/ It's what's left of my heart/ Somebody named Jesus broke it to pieces/ and planted the shards/ And they're coming up green/ They're coming in bloom... Just as I am and just as I was/ Just as I will be he loves me, he does/ He showed me the day that he shed his own blood/ He loves me..."
---Andrew Peterson "Just As I Am" from Love & Thunder
(lyrics posted via the "Fair Use" section of the US Copyright Act... but Andy's words are indeed copyrighted, protected & inspired. Want to read/hear more? Check out the link that-a-way ---->)

"So let the grace of God/ wash over me all my days/ As long as skin and bone/ hold on to me/ 'Cause Lord I know 'till the day/ you free me from my sin,/ your love will take me in/ Just as I am, not as I should be..."
---Randall Goodgame "John 11" from The Hymnal
(see disclaimer above, and be sure to check out Randall's link above, too... )

Sometimes it seems frustrating, exhausting even, to think that God is so unfathomable. Just when I think I've gotten things figured out, I realize how very confused I am. And yet it's so sweet to know that even though I don't understand God very well at all, still he picks me up, holds me close, and encourages me to call him Abba.... just as I am.